Trusting One’s Judgement

We all have been there; having a gut feeling about something and ignoring or justifying that feeling instead of trusting it.

Some of us struggle with trusting our own judgement and intuition. It’s usually because we have received direct or indirect messages from our caregivers that we are “wrong” about how we are feeling or what we are thinking. A simple example is when a child is upset over something and the parent says to the child “Why are you upset? You shouldn’t be upset.” In this exchange the child experiences an internal conflict between what he/she is experiencing or feeling and what the parent is saying. To resolve this conflict, the child might conclude that my parent knows better, so I must be wrong. If such invalidating experiences are repeated enough times, then the child internalizes the belief that ‘I cannot trust my judgement; my intuition is wrong.’ In addition, the lack of trust in one’s judgement leads to seeking external validation and assurance from others.

The good news is we can change that core belief. Gradually, we can begin to validate our feelings and develop more trust in our judgement- granted our thinking process is rational and based in reality.