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The Paradox of Autumn: Endings and New Beginnings

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Autumn is the season of decay and ending. Daylight grows shorter, the weather gets cooler and the sunlight is not as warm. It feels gloomy to see that the green lively leaves of summer are turning into brown dying leaves of fall. Yet, that’s what we see on the surface, for autumn is the season of seed dispersal! As green leaves are dying on the surface, new seeds are being spread and planted all over the land for new growth in spring. Sometimes it’s difficult to see this paradox of decaying and seeding because we are only focusing on what’s happening on the surface. Besides, autumn depicts that ending can be done so gracefully. It’s breathtaking to look at the gorgeous yellow, orange and red trees of fall.

We all experience autumnal events in our lives. When on the surface things are coming to an end or decaying- like when a relationship ends- but on a deeper level things are preparing for new beginnings and possibilities. When we experience an autumnal event the best we could do is to accept the ending gracefully and embrace new beginnings yet to come. Of course, we need to patiently go through autumn and winter before we can see the seeds planted in fall blossom in spring. After all, seasons cannot be hurried.

Life Transitions

Each time a door closes, the rest of the world opens up. All we need to do is stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around- which puts the door behind us- and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls.

I came across this beautiful saying as I was reading Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer when I was studying Physical Therapy in graduate school. Reading that book, along with self-reflections, inspired me to listen to my calling, and so I changed my career path from physical therapy to psychotherapy. Never have regretted that decision even for a second.

The Cycle of Life

I was at the airport picking up a family member today. While I was waiting for my guest to arrive, I was purposefully observing people at the airport. It was quite interesting! Some were eagerly standing by the gate waiting for their guests. When their guests arrived, they passionately hugged each other, smiled at each other, and looked happy. As I was seeing these warm exchanges at the “Arrivals” zone, I couldn’t help but think about the “Departures” zone of the airport where people were sadly saying goodbyes and leaving.

I had never noticed how the airport so clearly demonstrates the cycle of life under one roof. Arriving, beginning, saying hello, and then, departing, ending, and saying goodbye.

And of course, what matters most is the quality of our stay between arrival and departure.

Breaking Unhelpful Patterns

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I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

― Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery

Sacredness in Tears

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.

-Washington Irving

Inner Power

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.

Anna Freud